The shocking place your stress comes from

You’d be surprised at the first place you should look when looking in your life for unnecessary stress. Look at your friends, at the people closest to you, the ones surrounding you at all times. There’s a well known idea that you’re a reflection or average of your five closest friends and I happen to think this is very true. 

This is a concept I’ve always thought of but didn’t fully look at until this summer, after that thinking time I chose to act on with a push from one of my professors. Media Aesthetics and Creativity is a class I have this semester taught by a woman who from day one has been honest and encouraging with us. She pushes that her classroom will be a respectful environment where her goal is to help us build habits we’ll need to succeed. 

This by far is the best teaching style to have for this kind of class, I recognize not all classes are able to have the freedom this one is meant to. The topic we’ve discussed in this current and past week is something I felt to be incredibly helpful as well as something that should be shared. 

Professor Langford has been explaining how important mindfulness is and what it contributes to other aspects of our lives. The people around us should be a balance, like anything else in our lives. 

If you’re surrounding yourself with yes men who will never give anything but blind support this isn’t a positive thing. On the flip side of that you could also be surrounding yourself with people without the motivation or goal setting tactics you may need to do your best. You may not even notice that this is how the people closest to you are acting, but it’s perhaps the most important place to start when looking for stress. 

Surrounding yourself with people who are pushing you to set and achieve goals or at least recognize and support your priorities without letting their own needs seep into their advice to you. In class an exercise that helped us recognize the organization of our life at its simplifies form was a stress umbrella. 

This image I’ve included is an example of the exercise we did. By figuring out what things you can control that are adding stress to your life you can then make a list of how you want to realistically approach these things. 

There is nothing wrong with taking space from people you feel are hindering your growth. In college we’re all at an age where we have the opportunity to meet new people some of which could be in your life for decades and some which may just be your good time friends. People you know will always want to go out and have some fun but may not be the best to rely on during a bad day.

Friends are something very personal to each individual but my biggest take away from this lesson is try and figure out what kind of friends you’re surrounding yourself with. If all of your energy is going into being everyone therapist but your own or constantly listening to advice that isn’t in your best interest its going to get exhausting. College and all of the things requiring your attention may be easier to deal with if your surrounded with a stable support system.